Sunday, 25 July 2010

Long time no blog!

Heeey, It's been over a month since i last posted!! :O shocking, i am ashamed of myself lol

I was so busy with all my retake exams and stuff i just didn't get chance, and the after them i have just been soooo very tired after work i haven't had the energy to write a blog.

But i'm back now! it's school holidaaays! That has got to be the most awesome thing eeeever about working in a school :)

So lets start bloggy blogging the last month!

Firstly!!! You may now call me Samantha Jane Brook BSc!! :D Ok i only got a third class degree, but tbh, considering how much i have struggled this year i am happy and surprised i actually passed! I am so relieved i have finished!! it's ooover, the torture that is a biology degree is ooooooooooover! *Victory Dance*

Secondly i have an iPhone 4! sooooo preeeetty!! but i won't go on about them, you all know what they do, if you don't then where on earth are you living?

So thirdly? Thirdly... is that right? well whatever... Thirdly, how have my joints been? Honestly they have been S**t... I am really starting to struggle with walking :( I can walk on my own, pretty well for about 10mins, then i am in so much discomfort, i start limping cos one or both of my hips are extremely painful, my sacroiliacs (where your spine meets your pelvis) start throbbing and my knee's give in. Luckily most of the time i am walking i am with my Best Friend Nick, and he is like my personal zimmer frame :)
I am struggling with siting down too, keep getting cramp in my hips, and shooting pains down my legs. I can barely sit through a whole film at the cinema (i spend most of my time at the cinema). Most of the time i have to get up and go for a walk, I tell Nick i need to pee, cos if i told him how much pain i am in he'd be making me leave. If i manage to sit through the film then when i stand up at the end everything is so stiff that i can't walk properly :( And i have noticed that wearing Skinny jeans makes this worse.

As for work, i coped... just. I have to go to the gym at the weekends, otherwise i will put weight on, and everything will get worse, but going to the gym at the weekend doesn't allow my joints and muscles to repair over the weekend, so come Monday i am still hurting, so i start the week in pain, and whilst working the pain will only get worse... So by Friday i am struggling to work. But i put on a brave face and push through it. They sort of know whats wrong with me at work, and the other technician is supportive, he doesn't let me do anything that is likely to hurt me. But the one thing i can not deal with concerning this condition is being told i cannot do things that a normal 21 year old should be able to do. :(

Fourthly? Depression. Nick told me the other day that he thinks i am depressed. Apparently the depressed one usually can't tell that they are depressed, and it's always the ones close by that notice the changes. I didn't think i was depressed, and still don't to a certain extent. But the things he said have made me think. He said i never seem to be happy anymore, and that i never go out. Which is true, i don't go out, because all my friends just go night clubbing, which i can't do, if they aren't night clubbing then they round some one's house drinking, which i can't do. Being the only sober person in a house full of extremely drunk people is not my idea of a fun night out. I physically can't do anything else, i am so tired all the time that i just want to go home and go to bed, and he doesn't seem to understand that, he expects me to be social and spend time with him. It does get me down that i can't go out, i can't spend time with my friends, and i can't just be a normal 21 year old. But depression? I don't know the difference really....

Anyway, I'll leave it there for now, I am on summer hols for 5weeks now, so i will try to blog more often!

Thanks for reading.

Sam xx

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